Blog Page

A big girls introduction

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 01:09:02 > You know what?...

…it's okay to be sizemically challenged!…

Having spent the majority of my working life in fashion I can honestly say that I have never felt much part of it. I fell in love with an industry full of neurosis and covert competition walking into it somewhat naively, head held high at a size 24 and just under six feet tall. I’ve worked in a variety of jobs from buying offices to organising visual display on a shopfloor and more recently as part of a personal shopping team in a large department store. Although I have never had direct discrimination because of my size there was always a feeling of not really fitting in. After reading a wonderful piece in 2005 by fashion editor Sarra Manning about being big and in fashion I have to admit that not fitting in has in fact been my greatest advantage. I have been able to gain a great deal more overall experience, even insight into a difficult industry more than my contemporaries have. I almost feel like the child in the story of ‘The Emperors New Clothes’ who had the guts to shout out loud what he really thought. In my role of a fat interloper I am left with no other uncertainties - so I can shout as loud as I want.

I laughed at Sarra’s comments about other fashionistas responses to her - I have had the exasperated huffs at fashion shows when sitting directly in front of a crowd of diminutive trendies. Loudly whispered comments from middle-aged fashion dragons that look at me and wonder why they’re bothering to starve themselves. An innocent remark from someone I got on very well with, which started“Oh Ursula…You never guess?…”I naturally said,“No…What?…”She looked at me earnestly and said,“I dreamt of you last night…You turned up looking just like Naomi Campbell…So slim and lovely…”What could I say but,“Oh right…”

Having grown-up with“Ooh…You’ve got such a lovely smile!…”I got used to these innocuous remarks very quickly and tried to concentrate on finding myself and my own style which I think I have finally achieved – especially, being happy with myself. I’ll never squeeze into Prada or Chloe but I’ve learnt enough to take the elements of fashion that I like and adapting them for myself. I am not saying that I do not wake up sometimes with feelings of inadequacy - wishing that I could just sling on a mini-T and jeans and go out into the world. Being large means that life lacks a bit of what I call ‘outfit spontaneity’ but, I can say that my journey has helped these moments to pass over very quickly and I now own a very efficient wardrobe.

People seem to like me, which is nice. I get on with all types – trying desperately sometimes not to judge them too harshly. Forgiving their deficiencies and overlooking
their insecurities. Being dragged around by friends to help them spend money on themselves – again, ignoring the fact that not one has ever offered to come out with me – but that’s okay, as I would probably end up strangling them anyway.

I still love what I do and I look at all that is fashion objectively and have finally found the strength to sideline it and find a path of my own. Being a personal shopper has taught me a lot about human frailty and it concerns me that women especially now have certainly taken a step backwards when it come to self-esteem no matter what size they are. Satisfaction with age, size and appearance only comes when there is self-acceptance and that is sadly lacking in most. I quickly found that clients came more for a word of kindness rather than objective criticism, which surprised me, I had to go back into ‘shopping with best friends’ mode and listen more as I truly wanted them to leave not only looking good but also feeling a little better about themselves. Maybe I had success because I was not a fashion mannequin looking down at these women – I was real, about as real as you could get - a woman of generous size that treated them fairly and equally, examining their needs rather than throwing something at them that was totally unsuitable.

I am now doing it for myself, concentrating on the area I suffered from most growing up large like thousands of others. Looking directly at plus sizes, here in the UK and abroad and hopefully help to make it more cohesive. I am neither a campaigner nor a shoulder to cry on, I believe that all women have to find their own way - with a little pushing from people and organisations like myself.

We are currently experiencing a second round of media interest in plus sizes, which, will peak for a while and then die a death when everyone concerned get bored. The thing is, this time I believe that we should try to take advantage of this short-term moment of popularity to bring this side of the industry together and help it to become stronger and more accessible.

I will continue to stay optimistic and find encouragement from the great people I have met. The plus size market is full of people trying to make a difference, still finding enjoyment in helping to make someone feel special. I am also in full support for the companies adding size to their ranges – they do not always get it right but at least they are acknowledging that curves are getting curvier and bums are getting bigger.

Gaining self-esteem is an essential life task that has to be done for oneself – not forced on by the fashion or beauty industries. The fickle media must not be given the importance it has when it comes to self-image. Women must be helped to go forward a step and find out for themselves what they actually want – if it is to lose the excess weight to be happy then they should be encouraged to do so but if they are what they are at a size 20 and equally as happy – they must not be shelved as a failure.

UGH.